Chapter 19

“Draupadi said, ‘This O Bharata, that I am going to tell thee is anothergreat grief of mine. Thou shouldst not blame me, for I tell thee thisfrom sadness of heart. Who is there whose grief is not enhanced at sightof thee, O bull of the Bharata race, engaged in the ignoble office of acook, so entirely beneath thee and calling thyself as one of Vallavacaste? What can be sadder than this, that people should know thee asVirata’s cook, Vallava by name, and therefore one that is sunk inservitude? Alas, when thy work of the kitchen is over, thou humblysittest beside Virata, calling thyself as Vallava the cook, thendespondency seizeth my heart. When the king of kings in joy maketh theefight with elephants, and the women of the inner apartments (of thepalace) laugh all the while, then I am sorely distressed. When thoufightest in the inner apartments with lions, tigers, and buffaloes, theprincess Kaikeyi looking on, then I almost swoon away. And when Kaikeyiand those maidservants, leaving their seats, come to assist me and findthat instead of suffering any injury in limbs mine is only a swoon, theprincess speaks unto her women, saying, ‘Surely, it is from affection andthe duty begot of intercourse that this lady of sweet smiles grieveth forthe exceedingly powerful cook when he fights with the beasts. Sairindhriis possessed of great beauty and Vallava also is eminently handsome. Theheart of woman is hard to know, and they, I fancy, are deserving of eachother. It is, therefore, likely that the Sairindhri invariably weepeth(at such times) on account of her connection with her lover. And then,they both have entered this royal family at the same time. And speakingsuch words she always upbraideth me. And beholding me wroth at this, shesuspects me to be attached to thee.’ When she speaketh thus, great is thegrief that I feel. Indeed, on beholding thee, O Bhima of terribleprowess, afflicted with such calamity, sunk as I already am in grief onaccount of Yudhishthira. I do not desire to live. That youth who on asingle car had vanquished all celestials and men, is now, alas, thedancing master of king Virata’s daughter. That Pritha’s son ofimmeasurable soul, who had gratified Agni in the forest of Khandava, isnow living in the inner apartments (of a palace) like fire hid in a well.Alas, the bull among men, Dhananjaya, who was ever the terror of foes, isnow living in a guise that is despaired by all. Alas, he whose mace-likearms have been cicatrized in consequence of the strokes of hisbow-string, alas that Dhananjaya is passing the days in grief coveringhis wrists with bracelets of conchs. Alas, that Dhananjaya the twang ofwhose bow-string and the sound of whose leathern fences made every foetremble, now entertains only gladdened women with his songs. Oh, thatDhananjaya whose head was formerly decked with a diadem of solarsplendour, is now wearing braids ending in unsightly curls. O Bhima,beholding that terrible bowman, Arjuna, now wearing braids and in themidst of women, my heart is stricken with woe. That high-souled hero whois master of all the celestial weapons, and who is the repository of allthe sciences, now weareth ear-rings (like one of the fair sex). Thatyouth whom kings of incomparable prowess could not overpower in fight,even as the waters of the mighty ocean cannot overleap the continents, isnow the dancing-master of king Virata’s daughters and waits upon them indisguise. O Bhima, that Arjuna the clatter of whose car-wheels caused theentire earth with her mountains and forests, her mobile and immobilethings to tremble, and whose birth dispelled all the sorrows of Kunti,that exalted hero, that younger brother of thine, O Bhimasena, now makethme weep for him. Beholding him coming towards me, decked in goldenear-rings and other ornaments, and wearing on the wrists bracelets ofconchs, my heart is afflicted with despondency. And Dhananjaya who hathnot a bowman equal unto him on earth in prowess, now passeth his days insinging, surrounded by women. Beholding that son of Pritha who in virtue,heroism and truth, was the most admired in the world, now living in theguise of a woman, my heart is afflicted with sorrow. When I behold, thegodlike Partha in the music-hall like an elephant with rent templessurrounded by she-elephants in the midst of females, waiting beforeVirata the king of the Matsyas, then I lose all sense of directions.Surely, my mother-in-law doth not know Dhananjaya to be afflicted withsuch extreme distress. Nor doth she know that descendant of the Kururace, Ajatasatru, addicted to disastrous dice, to be sunk in misery. OBharata, beholding the youngest of you all, Sahadeva, superintending thekine, in the guise of a cowherd, I grow pale. Always thinking ofSahadeva’s plight, I cannot, O Bhimasena, obtain sleep,–what to speakyou of the rest? I do not know, O mighty-armed one, what sin Sahadeva mayhave committed for which that hero of unbaffled prowess suffereth suchmisery. O foremost of the Bharatas, beholding that beloved brother ofthine, that bull among men, employed by Matsya in looking after his kine,I am filled with woe. Seeing that hero of proud disposition gratifyingVirata, by living at the head of his cowherds, attired in robes dyed inred. I am attacked with fever. My mother-in-law always applauds theheroic Sahadeva as one possessed of nobility, excellent behaviour, andrectitude of conduct. Ardently attached to her sons, the weeping Kuntistood, embracing Sahadeva while he was about to set out (with us) for thegreat forest. And she addressed me saying, “Sahadeva is bashful andsweet-speeched, and virtuous. He is also my favourite child. Therefore, OYajnaseni, tend him in the forest day and night. Delicate and brave,devoted to the king, and always worshipping his elder brother, do thou, OPanchali, feed him thyself.’ O Pandava, beholding that foremost ofwarriors, Sahadeva, engaged in tending kine, and sleeping at night oncalf-skins, how can I bear to live? He again who is crowned with thethree attributes of beauty, arms, and intelligence, is now thesuperintendent of Virata’s steeds. Behold the change brought on by time.Granthika (Nakula), at sight of whom hostile hosts fled from the field ofbattle, now traineth horses in the presence of the king, driving themwith the speed. Alas, I now see that handsome youth wait upon thegorgeously decked and excellent Virata, the king of the Matsyas, anddisplay horses before him. O son of Pritha, afflicted as I am with allthese hundred kinds of misery on account of Yudhishthira, why dost thou,O chastiser of foes, yet deem me happy? Listen now to me, O son of Kunti,as I tell thee of other woes far surpassing these. What can be sadder tome than miseries so various as these should emaciate me while ye arealive.'”