Chapter 20

“Draupadi said, ‘Alas, on account of that desperate gambler, I am nowunder Sudeshna’s command, living in the palace in the guise of aSairindhri. And, O chastiser of foes, behold the plight of poignant woewhich I, a princess, am now in. I am living in expectation of the closeof this stated period.[14] The extreme of misery, therefore, is mine.Success of purpose, victory, and defeat, as regards mortals, aretransitory. It is in this belief that I am living in expectation of thereturn of prosperity to my husbands. Prosperity and adversity revolvelike a wheel. It is in this belief that I am living in expectation of thereturn of prosperity to my husbands. That cause which bringeth onvictory, may bring defeat as well. I live in this hope. Why dost thounot, O Bhimasena, regard me as one dead? I have heard that persons thatgive may beg: that they who slay may be slain; and that they whoover-throw others may themselves be overthrown by foes. Nothing isdifficult for Destiny and none can over-ride Destiny. It is for this thatI am awaiting the return of favourable fortune. As a tank once dried, isfilled up once again, so hoping for a change for the better, I await thereturn of prosperity. When one’s business that hath been well-providedfor is seen to be frustrated, a truly wise person should never strive forbringing back good fortune. Plunged as I am an sorrow, asked or unaskedby thee to explain the purpose of these words spoken by me, I shall tellthee everything. Queen of the sons of Pandu and daughter of Drupada, whoelse, save myself, would wish to live, having fallen into such a plight?O represser of foes, the misery, therefore, that hath overtaken me, hathreally humiliated the entire Kuru race, the Panchalas, and the sons ofPandu. Surrounded by numerous brothers and father-in-law and sons, whatother woman having such cause for joy, save myself, would be afflictedwith such woe? Surely, I must, in my childhood, have committed act highlyoffensive to Dhatri through whose displeasure, O bull of the Bharatarace, I have been visited with such consequences. Mark, O son of Pandu,the pallour that hath come over my complexion which not even a life inthe woods fraught as it was with extreme misery, could bring about. Thou,O Pritha’s son, knowest what happiness, O Bhima, was formerly mine. Even,I, who was such have now sunk into servitude. Sorely distressed, I canfind no rest. That the mighty-armed and terrible bowman, Dhananjaya theson of Pritha, should now live like a fire that hath been put out, makethme think of all this as attributable to Destiny. Surely, O son of Pritha,it is impossible for men to understand the destinies of creatures (inthis world). I, therefore, think this downfall of yours as something thatcould not be averted by forethought. Alas, she who hath you all, thatresemble Indra himself to attend to her comforts–even she, so chaste andexalted, hath now to attend to the comforts of others, that are to herfar inferior in rank. Behold, O Pandava, my plight. It is what I do notdeserve. You are alive, yet behold this inversion of order that time hathbrought. She who had the whole Earth to the verge of the sea under hercontrol, is now under the control of Sudeshna and living in fear of her.She who had dependants to walk both before and behind her, alas, nowherself walketh before and behind Sudeshna. This, O Kaunteya, is anothergrief of mine that is intolerable. O, listen to it. She who had never,save for Kunti, pounded unguents even for her own use, now, good betidethee, poundeth sandal (for others). O Kaunteya, behold these hands ofmine which were not so before. Saying this she showed him her handsmarked with corns. And she continued, she who had never feared Kuntiherself nor thee and thy brothers, now standeth in fear before Virata asa slave, anxious of what that king of kings may say unto her regardingthe proper preparation of the unguents, for Matsya liketh not sandalpounded by others.’

“Vaisampayana continued, ‘Relating her woes thus, O Bharata, untoBhimasena, Krishna began to weep silently, casting her eyes on Bhima. Andthen, with words choked in tears, and sighing repeatedly, she addressedBhima in these words, powerfully stirring his heart, ‘Signal, O Bhima,must have been my offence of old unto the gods, for, unfortunate as I am.I am yet alive, when, O Pandava, I should die.’

“Vaisampayana continued, ‘Then that slayer of hostile heroes, Vrikodara,covering his face with those delicate hands of his wife marked withcorns, began to weep. And that mighty son of Kunti, holding the hands ofDraupadi in his, shed copious tears. And afflicted with great woe, hespoke these words.'”